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Samsung Galaxy Note 10.1 with Book Cover

Goodbye Cruel Galaxy

The house was silent. She was gone. All she left behind was a Samsung Galaxy Note.

Dear Roger –

That’s right, Roger. I’m calling you by your real name. I’m sorry, I just could never call you “Wolfrider” with a straight face. And I guess that’s kind of why I’m writing this letter.

I can’t stay with you anymore. It’s over. Believe me, nobody wanted this to work more than I did. When I think of what I put up with – the all-night b?jutsu practice sessions in the backyard, the Klingon hip-hop, the fedoras, sweet Lord, the fedoras… finally, last night, when you wouldn’t stop reading me your script for Monty Python Goes To Catan, I reached down into my well of patience and understanding and there was nothing left.

I’ve left you one thing to remember me by: the Samsung Galaxy Note 10.1 you always wanted. You can use to 16 apps simultaneously. It’s got 16GB of onboard storage, and a 10.1″ 1280×800 touchscreen. I’ll stop before I embarrass you with my “techno-illiteracy” like I did that time we were hanging out at Kim & Kevin’s and I mixed up Java and Javascript. Yes, I remember.

This Samsung Galaxy Note is my way of saying “I wish you the best as long as I never have to spend any time around you ever again.” I would say I hope we can be friends, but I would be lying, and you’ve made your feelings on “the friend zone” very clear. Very, obnoxiously, abrasively clear.

Forget me, please –


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